Literally.
When I got home, I turned up my Glee playlist full blast, trying to shake off what I could, when I felt my knees quivering. Like, if I were to mount on a pyramid, Sue Sylvester would be booming off her megaphone “Was that a quiver?”
But no. Kidding aside, I couldn’t hold myself steady. I’ve never felt this shaken before - literally.
The ride home was a blur. If there was a hold-up going on I would’ve just handed my phone, wallet, everything - with nary a struggle.
I’m just gonna leave it here - because I can’t even sort out myself yet. It’s just that I know myself when in situations like this and I DO bad things. Like, the first bad thing that comes to my head - ESPECIALLY if no one’s there to rationalize my emotions - I do it without batting an eyelash. That’s why I text blast and chat blast any friend in my line of sight - I need someone to put things in perspective for me before I do anything crazy.
And trust me, there ARE evil, crazy, irrational things I want to do now. PLENTY.
The last time I did this, the rational friend stepped in a week late. He made sense, if only I asked him first before I proceeded with the decision that will give my life a 180-degree turn. Which makes me think…maybe I should ask him riiiiiiight about now what I should do. Or where I should be.
My mind is so noisy (plus my stomach is grumbling) I can’t think straight.
I hate this!! I hate it when I can’t sort out myself!!! :\
Get your act together, Carmela!!!
Oh God HELP :(